Kaimin - Dreams out Loud

幻灭了的。童话故事

2011-11-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

幻灭了的童话故事，不胜唏嘘

有人欢喜有人忧

2011年十月的最后一个星期三，

他与她童话般的爱情故事结束了

我想单纯的是我，伤心也是我

戏，剧，的存在，是反映了人类的渴望与梦想

得与失

2011-10-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

小时候总认为，得与失的“得”，是意喻着真的是拥有一样东西，包括人事物。而“失”，是失去拥有着的东西。

后来才明白，“得与失”，是二选一一个道理。也许，更复杂。

得，也许是一样从来不会得到的东西；失，也许是一辈子也不会失去的东西。

得与失，也许是一种安慰自己的方法。衡量得与失，每个人都有不同的标准。

可是被忽略的是，衡量时的心态。

总想，为什么一定是得与失，一正一负？

得，是要开心的。失，未必是不开心的。

得到所以失去，失去所以得到，反反复复的。

如果乐观地去看待，得到就是失去，失去就是得到。这也没有什么大不了的。

有时候放下自己的想法，会看见更多的不一样。

世界很大，可是有边际，有末端。为什么这么灰？

就算它真的有边际又怎么了？在怎么有本事，还是勾不着它的边。所以世界还是很大的。

局限是一件很可怕的事情

灯泡坏了

2011-08-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

上一个学期因为乱花钱，所以惩罚自己到毕业之间不喝bubbletea.

This is the most dreadful deal for every single students in Perth as bbt is everyone's fav :)

不过，几个月没有买来喝了，真的会戒得掉的。

可是最近开始觉得很罪过，因为爱上了喝红酒。不是更贵吗？

不过值得啊，百利而无一害。花钱，总是要花在值得投资的东西上。

为了桌上那杯红酒，我把直照下来的桌灯关了，结果灯泡就爆了

翻完整间房间，都找不到灯泡

结果却无意间找到了半年多前，她写给我的道歉信

我看回以前的信和卡，都会笑。

人，是每天成长，就算明天看回今天的自己，还是会笑

好了，荒了一个周末，刚要开始读书，灯泡坏了。今晚继续休息吗？

最近积极去学bikram yoga. 很好玩。不过积极的原因，绝大部分是因为给了钱 :p

bikram yoga 是一个很难让人坚持的游戏

希望这会改善我的脊椎骨和脚骨

年底再去照X ray, 有改善的话，继续学。

winter break

2011-08-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

逍遥快乐winter break 就这么结束了

开学了, 蛮快乐的

不知不觉我和他在一起快三年了

好朋友们都很惊讶

说我不像是能够维持一段远距离感情这么久

我确实爱自由，可是只限于在同一块很辽阔的草原上奔跑 :)

忙。累。病

2011-06-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

小伤感是在所难免的，不过想想这决定一定没有错的

忙着读书，忙着休息，忙着生病

连要小伤感的时间都没有，又何来伤感。

我想，快毕业了

下学期，拼命的打工，毕业前能在自己的户口里赚些钱

好赖未来不会那么苦 :)

瞬间领悟

2011-05-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

大半夜做着作业突然想起了3年前的事情，很不快乐

大哭了一场。。

突然明白，这些年来，我为了要活得比大家都好，我伪装着快乐

都在执著，我一定要比大家活得好活得快乐

结果大家快乐了，我最不快乐

我记得以前我时常反反复复的在fb 里删除了又加删除了又加回他

每一次他都问我为什么，我都答不上

最后一次删除了以后，再也没有加回他了，已经是大半年前的事情了

今天我可以很释怀的回答他，我在fb 里的行为表了我对现实生活中的想法，因为这些年来我只不过在掩饰自己，逃避自己，欺骗自己能够放下不快乐的，我以为这样我是快乐的，所以我们还可以聊聊天，做朋友，所以我加了他。可是有时候我突然想起了一切，心中的不快乐又出现了，恨令到我又不快乐了，所以我会突然间在fb里删除了他，反映我现实生活里对他的厌恶，不想他曾经出现在我生命中。

我想半年前的那一天，我估计我在逼着自己忘记所有的不快乐，所以不加回他

今天大哭了一场，终于逼自己去面对一切，然后终于释怀了，我放下了3年的包袱啦！

头轻了，肩膀也轻了。。

打开fb的 inbox message，本来打算给他发个email对他说，我终于可以回答他的问题了

看看他现在生活，很快乐，也许他根本就不care。

所以就没有发了。

可是我快乐了。。我也学会了放下了

i dont care it anymore :)

L.O.V.E indeed

2011-05-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

L.O.V.E?

Legs Open Very Easily? NAHHH.. that's not me!! My muscles are too tight, can't split leaps

L is the way you look at me

O is the opportunities we have to spend together

V is the very deep feelings I have for you

E is everything about you that attracts me to you

I love cooking, I enjoy cooking

Not a passion only to boyfie, but to everyone and myself

Never want to be a chef, but at least a chef for my own and family

I want a big fully equiped kitchen,

having small rooms/corners for different cruisine,

with different equipment and ingredients needed,

A place full of my love and passion.

I want a huge garden,

365 days in colour, cheerful sign of spring.

Hrm..

2011-05-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

突然想起以后的结婚戒指要怎麽样的

恩

一个容易送出戒指的男生/男人

无论是在热恋中，还是冲动型准备结婚的

都不是一个可靠的男生/男人

总有傻过的年代

戒指，是一种commitment :)

笑看从前，纪律现在，计划未来

2011-04-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

今天起床，想了很久，是时候要学会理财了。

浑浑噩噩的与乱挥霍了四年。是时候约束自己，给自己做一本钱财记事簿。

找了整个房间，终于找到了一本很适合做我的钱财记事簿的记事本。

翻开来，原来是我以前的日记！我记得这是以前我从post office 买回来的

记得很久以前，我真的没有勇气去碰这一本本子，一直就放在书架上其中一个文件夹里，静躺在一个角落。然后直到我遗忘了。。

今天意外的找到

突然想上厕所，就捧着这本风尘日记边便便边阅读

呵呵~ 原来以前我真的好傻！

第一页，写的题目是，“即将失去的日子”2008 年4 月15日

日记的最后一页，题目是，“没有XX的第146天” 2008年 9月 9日，冬天，星期一

然后题目下面全是空白的。

我忘了是什么回事。不过我想那一天，应该是我停止伤心的一天，停止哭泣的一天。

所以留白了。。我想是因为我不再想要浪费时间在这本日记上了。。就让它空着吧！

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

今天已经是2011年4月9日。

不知不觉已经三年了。。不过我不再需要这一本日记了。

日记在我心里。写着的是过去的两年四个月里与他快乐回忆。。还会继续的写着。。

就让以前的字迹封尘吧！剩下空白的纸张，就让我变成一个会理财的人吧 :D

我要好好为我的未来计划计划。

自己出来做工不能再要钱；生活要用钱，结婚要用钱，买家要用钱，孩子要用钱

现在不学会赚钱生钱存钱，那我以后的梦想就会永远只是泡沫了

加油！

思想分裂的我

2011-04-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

常常在想。。是自己要求太多了吗？

每一次都觉得真的是自己不对，要求得太多了。

然后很懊悔

警告自己不会有下一次

然后永远的，都会有下一次

我想我是太贪心了

他很真的很好

一直不断的原谅我

然后我不断的伤害他

然后他又原谅我

我知道我真的需要成长，真的真的需要

有时候，总在想

有一天我要真的失去了，会不会活不了。。

我想

应该会是痛苦的活下去。。

Japan's tragedy

2011-03-20T23:42:00.000-07:00

What's the biggest news of the year 2011 till March to you?

You might have bought a new iphone4, a new house, a new bag, you found a new bf etc etc.

While you are enjoying much and cherishing of your own life in your own little world, the world is stunned by the Japan deadliest natural disaster ever.

A 9.0 magnitude megathrust earthquake hit off the coast of Japan on the 11th of March, and it triggered a destructive tsunami waves up to 10 metres, and travels up to 10 km inland.

That's not the end of the story, as the earthquake has thrown Japan into the most severe crisis since WWII.

Three explosion at the nuclear power station occured from 12th of March after the earthquake the day before has caused damage on the reactors that has rated a level of 5 in terms of threat on an international scale of 1-7. However, the radiation level that has been detected outside the plaint is below the legal limits.

Preliminary estimates put repair costs from the earthquake and tsunami in the tens of billions of dollars.

Apart from the "physically damaged" of Japan, the Japan's economic crisis has an great impact in the stock markets. Although the recovery might be quick, it is tough for the industries to resume production. Also, the earthquake has caused a remarkably rise in oil prices (approx 10%) over many countries.

It's a wise choice now not to drive in Perth, make full use of TransPerth wisely, for the sake of your own money in your pokcet, and to the environment as well. Oil price has rised outrageously over Perth on a average of $138 cents per litre up to last Sunday.

What have you done?

Donating is all what we can do now.

We were discussing on this last Friday. How to help? What can be done?

So we came up with few brilliant ideas..Hopefully things will go the way we want.

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Every tragedy inspires shock value humors, like any other, Japan's tragedy is no exception.

From what I have known, what embarrased me to be a Malaysian is when I saw the youtube of Malaysia First Lady, Rosmah M. commenting on the Japan tsunami.

I should remind myself that "No Japan No you", (maybe that's abit exaggerating), anyhow as I am definitely living in a technology driven world, like many other kids, I played PS1 , 2 , 3, nintendo wii, I drive Toyota, I have Panasonic TV, I watched Ultraman, Sailormoon, Doraemon, I eat sushi, ramen, etc.

So why are people trying to humorize on Japanese after the tragedy?

Firstly, is Rosmah M.'s comments.

Secondly, is where people from China (not everyone) actually have no mercy at all towards Japanese afterall by saying that's what they deserve to have. This is extremely annoying and disturbing! Is that so true that you deserve saying all these right now? No way! If there is 2012 tragedy, we all will have to go thru or not even getting a chance to, like how Jap going thru now. Do we deserve that? Yea, everyone that is harming the environment deserve the tragedy. Including you and me. Unless, you get your ass back to the jungle. And you dont deserve all the tragic.

Thirdly, why the heck there are guys out there still concerning Japanese porn production after the catasthrophe? SHAME ON YOU!

Fourthly, if you have read Berita Harian, or the mighty facebook post sharing, you have definitely seen the cartoon mocking Japan's tsunami, where Ultraman sprinting madly from a tsunami wave, with houses and boats on top of the wave. How embarrasing again, to be Malaysian. And hey to remind the journalist, if you are drawing Ultraman, dont ever forget Ultraman is definitely one part of your childhood memories, by Japan.

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Pray hard for Japan.

2011-03-17T08:56:00.001-07:00

爱

2011-03-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

什么是爱？

小时候总是问，如果世界末日到了，你会要和谁一起过？

答的都是家人

长大了，懂得贪了，开始想两全其美的方法了

可是家人永远还是最爱

排山倒海的爱

近年来就只有这么一句话，让我听了马上停不住眼泪

“父母只能看见我们的前半生，而我们只能看见父母的后半生”

小时候不觉得伤悲，看到的是父母还很健壮，年轻

长大了，看到的是岁月狠心的在父母身心留下的痕迹

宽恕，包容。。总有一天我要学会

又开学了

2011-03-05T23:11:00.000-08:00

一年一次三个月的summer break, 终于结束了。

这一个周末好好的收拾心情开始再奋斗！

这一次三个月的假期，是最长的。没有去那里旅行，没有见到b，没有什么特别的

就平平淡淡的虚度了人生没有得回头的三个月

其实有时候真的觉得summer break 太浪费时间了

哎。。　我总是没有上进心。

心里有个计划，想想还是太难实现了。

万事起头难啊～再想想吧！

昨天bb刚买了一个japanese spitz，叫趴趴

挺可爱淘气的。。可惜啊就一天，已经被宠坏了。

家里就只有我属于最没有爱心的了。因为我总是那个坏人，打趴趴。

打是疼，骂是爱啊！　

我可不会是一个母爱泛滥到把孩子／狗狗宠坏的人

简称坏人　:'(

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

都长这么大了，有什么应该注重的，伤心的，应该都要会分。

不能回头的东西太多了，可是这确实是我的决定

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

已经半年没有看见b了，年尾时，分开了一段日子，我想，反而增进了感情

期待六月的见面

期待把试考好，然后可以拿到好的internship offer。不能懒了，要专心多点，用心多点

期待年终意大利之旅

期待也需的机会再去一次英国

然后下半年，继续好好冲刺学业，事业　:)

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

身边的朋友都毕业了，开始工作的已经工作了，开始自己生意的也已经事业起步了

哎。。依然得一事无成

MERRY X'MAS 2010

2010-12-25T03:15:00.000-08:00

2010的圣诞节凌晨三点，很精神，头脑想很多东西，要写下

去年的圣诞节在英国，今年在马来西亚，真的不喜欢。明年还是计划一个旅行吧！

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

人生的污点就是人生的污点

有些人，见了，太多余，浪费时间，确实如此，也只不过彼此彼此

以前，向往的，是自己认为他们那种所谓的自由，所谓的友谊

统统都是垃圾

家人反对，朋友反感，还是如此坚持自己的想法，成了人生的污点

太脏

现在，看见的，还是一群真的是物以类聚的人类，依然所谓的自我封闭式的友谊，那么的narrow and shallow

开始看清了，觉得以往太傻，污点依然在

还是如此的脏

人总会成长，希望我也会

栋笃笑

2010-12-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

今天花了半天的时间来load youtube上的栋笃笑

然后花了差不多两个小时在看

名句有很多都不记得了

“以前写日记，是给自己看，现在写日记是在网上，给的是别人看。。。那是传记”

还蛮浪费时间

不过免费的

说到免费，想到的是可怕的HPV vaccine

为祸人间的预防针

tsk tsk

十年以后，就能看见结果

希望这一切都是不真实的

结果总是有好有坏，这是对三十万今年13岁的小女孩最好的安慰

现在当上了父母的父母们，免费的还是得经过大脑思考

给未来将当父母的青年们，利用我们的知识去避免一些可被避免的悲剧

唉

感叹总是有的

人云亦云是可怕的，经一经大脑，总是好的

至少

在我的人生字典里面

免费，绝对不会是一个理由或动力

values

2010-12-04T18:07:00.001-08:00

If you are from a traditional family, like most of the Chinese kids do, guess you are educated with this

"learn how to cook nice food, and boil nice soup, that's the key to bond the family"

IT IS TOTALLY WRONG TO ME.

personally, i love to cook so much! i keep practicing, keep learning, keep creating new recipes

but it's a hobby, not a career

family is definitely not my career for the rest of the life, but i will always love my family more than anything

mom once told me,

"you get marry, and you will be your husband's wife, but you are not his house's wife"

learned from poor dad rich dad,

"if you never want to spend your lifetime in the kitchen, don't ever learn to cook"

guess this is wrong too! but can't deny, that's a good way for education purpose

i love to cook, so i learn to cook, just like how i love to spend, so i must learn to earn more than my spending

I always wish that money can be earned whenever i think but not with any action

BUT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

mom once again told me,

"laziness is the worst liability you can ever have with you"

To-Do & Shopping list

2010-11-15T23:34:00.000-08:00

In case, I forget since I have too many things to do and too much things wanted to buy

To-Do List

(1) shop-&-spree
(2) treatment for my butt length hair
(3) curl my well treated silky smooth butt length hair
(4) dye my curly butt length hair
(5) change glasses
(6) online enrollment
(7) photo-shooting goodies
(8) learn to cook and bake more yummilicious food
(9) explore more in KL
(10) prezzies for besties
(11) shop MORE MORE MORE AND MORE!

Shopping List

(1) Thongs
(2) Bags
(3) Shoes (Not necessary)
(4) Accessories
(5) Sun glasses (MJ)
(6) Lotion
(7) Clothes
(8) just anything :P

MVB

2010-11-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

not a vulgar word :P

Were talking about Lebron James the other night,

remind me of those days watching NBA together with bro

then there was this fine Sunday morning, watching a match of Lebron James, bro wanted to know how the narration be like in Cantonese.

And he clicked the "I-II" on the controller

There went the laughter from the beginning of the match till the end just because of the funny translation of the players' names

LA-BONG-JIM-SI (Lebron James)

What I love to watch NBA is the precious moment I spend with bro, and he non stop sharing his passion and knowledge in basketball and telling me each and every player's story

And I actually treasure them like bible. It's all fresh in my mind even until now

I know Lebron James of course from my bro.

LJ was the MVP in his high school.

But my bro never tell me what's MVP stand for, learned that from Slam Dunk

So back to the story,

we were talking about LJ, and from MVP to MVB

it's just simply most valuable bi :D

WHATEVER

2010-11-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

yea larh yea larh, I'm so damn uneducated.

I have to say so,

I'm sorry

My parents dont have such a kid that love to scold others uneducated.

PRAY HARDDD!!

2010-10-26T01:24:00.001-07:00

Firstly, my melbourne trip is on for sure :)

Secondly, hopefully my bangkok trip with darling will on :S

Thirdly, i really wanted to go to Shanghai! shall I??

But but but but but but....

IF ONLY MY LONDON TRIP IS ON, I WILL POSTPONE MY BANGKOK TRIP AND GIVE UP MY SHANGHAI TRIP.

PRAY HARD :)

Methylparaben

2010-10-22T08:43:00.001-07:00

I have never ever come to this word, until just now, browsing FB and I found the videoclip I shared on PARABEN.

So i googled on paraben.

and i found methylparaben. (they are from the same family)

If you are interested in it, just google on it.

And after all the research thingy (which i have never been so passionate on researching a thing)

I ran to my bathroom and check on every single bottle of shampoo, bodywash, face wash, mask, hand wash, hair care products, toothpaste AND i ran back to the room, check on all the bottles on the cosmetic shelf, including lotions, toners, moisturizers, eye cream, acne treatment products, lip balms, eye shadows, blushers, nail polish, ETC ETC..

90% of them, having methylparaben as one of the acidic ingredients.

What so big deal since I have already (any other girls in this world do) put on so freaking hell lot (more than 40) of chemical thing on my skin every single day and night???

Research shown that, there is a link between methylparaben and breast cancer, which this chemical have it in 99% of all the skin products as the preservative to enhance their shelf life.

BREAST CANCER?!! It seriously freaks me out..

it is the worst enemy ever to all female.

You might heard from your grandmas if you are lucky enough, "dont put so much thing on your skin, it is bad"

So you might think that what so big deal, nothing happen to me also, and they actually help to promote a better looking skin. OR you might think that, aiya, they are ancient people, dont know anything on skin care products and cosmetics, just ignore it.

that's what i thought so at least...

Well, they happen to be a reason for each and single thing your grandma tells you.

they know it is bad for you, is just like how they used to tell me, not to drink cold drinks, and wet my hair during period. BUT they can never understand why, and to explain to you scientifically (since we are born in such a scientific world)

NOT THAT THEY ARE DUMB, BUT THEY ARE JUST NOT AS LUCKY AS US.

Having researchers all over the world, telling you what is good and bad for you. proving what our grandmas told us are true by giving scientific explanations

they dont know all these.

all they know is from experiences, from people they know. passing from one generation to another, and to us, by not appreciating the more than 100++ years experienced talks.

SHAME ON MYSELF..

I wont chuck all of them to bin now, since I have spent thousands on them. But will definitely gradually move to organic stuff like what my mom have been using for more than 10 years (PROUD OF HER)

I dont have a perfectly flawless skin, and i never wish to have such a bad skin. I'm born with it. I have spent a lot to reduce bad conditions. came to think of it, I have bad skin, I need a lot of skin care products, but in return, I risk my own life..

Life is never fair...

I have always wish to have a flawless skin, less problematic skin, insensitive skin, and i can stay away from all these chemicals..

bless me..

Stupidest formula ever

2010-10-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

This is obviously the wrong way to work the relationship out, yet you still think that it is the best way. Or, there is another reason behind for your impatience?

The stupidest formula ever, you and me, a relationship is definitely not based on scientific calculation.

"If only to have a good treat from you, or having a 小女人, I have to treat you bad"
"If I treat you nicely, you will treat me bad"

So, here am I to tell you, this is really stupid!

I appreciate you, that's why I treat you good. Not that in return, I am begging for your love. Or expecting you giving me a good treat.

If you think this is the best for you, I'm sorry. Look for some other girls that think it will be the best for her as well. I am definitely not the one.

If you think that I'm immature much, go ahead.

At least, this is what my thought is, and I hate you challenging my love towards you in this way.

Seriously, they think that we are good, because I have changed much for you. Indeed, you have changed a lot as well, to a shitty asshole like now.

I have never ever ever told others about how bad you treating me, and I swear, but I can't take it anymore!

All the while, I have been praising you much in front of others, and trying to be happy and proud in this relationship. I thought so, but I was so wrong.

You never trust me, I know that. so what.. I never bother to explain to others. Go ahead with your attitude to me..

Never.

2010-10-17T09:13:00.001-07:00

Never ever know that I get to be this childish at the age of 21

Getting more and more uncontrollable of my jealousy sometimes when I think about other girls receiving lovely prezzie (small ones) from bf, for celebrations or maybe just an ordinary day to have surprise on

I have received nothing, not for anniversary, not for my birthday. I'm not that demanding, I should consider myself as. A small lovely one will do and will definitely make my day (or month) perfect.

I always think that I'm the one that think of buying this and that for him.. I know I couldn't weight it this way

I know it is hellishly cold in London, I look for thick pyjamas for him, I bought him thick furry house shoes etc etc, not for any celebrations sake..

Maybe I'm too demanding for you? All I want is just these small little things but not something branded. I never ask for branded things, I can afford them. But if small little thing like those, wouldn't it be better if a bf buys you and not you buying yourself which ended up nothing much to be treasured on?

I am not asking for 10k bags, but just a 10 bucks small little useful thing from anywhere, that u think it suits me, or I need it, from what you know about my life. (or you don't?)

Maybe just a box of chocolate or candy favorite of mine, that I swear I have told you before.

Wouldn't it be warmer if the blanket is bought by someone you love, and loves you?

I see nothing from you in my room. I am pretty pissed. Or just being jealous of other girls..

爱情

2010-10-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

爱情不是两个人眼睛对视，而是两个人的眼光看着同一个方向 :)

最好的承诺，不是爱你一万年，而是根本不需要承诺...

。。是信任。。

两个女生的家

2010-10-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

两个女生的家，有着特别多不等用的东西

该有的都有了

有的只是两对脚

最多的却是，５５双鞋子 @.@

:(

2010-10-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

time flies incredibly fast and it's now October.

I have piled up so much school work :( i dont want to be last minute again

SAVE ME PLEASE!!

i will be quitting my job soon, maybe in a week or two to prepare my exam.

October, well, it's not a happy month for me obviously

been crying continuously for 2 nights

too much plan and too little time

I have so much thoughts to scribble down here, but i have no time at all

to you, please do not ask me not to be regretful, as i will for sure, but if this is the best for you and me, i had rather stab myself now than kill myself softly slowly then

I love you still, I know I do..

I'm nobody, I have no guts, But you have no balls

2010-09-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

I am nobody ,but a-not-patriotic-Malaysian, to the fullest.

After brainless Siti I* incident, what happened is that my facebook homepage is always flooded with all the bully video clips.

I'm legal to elect now, but it's never a good thing.

I am nobody, but I am not alone..

politics politics politics.

racism is an endless topic, endless battle for nothing, where you and me nor anyone out there have the capabilities to stop this ignorant behavior. SO, AM I NOT RACIST AT ALL?

NO WAY, the government, the society, and even the race itself made me a racist person, yes, I'm being ignorant then (blaming on others) But not ignorant enough to start a fight or bully other races, probably cuz i'm too tiny :P

If i got to choose or click on the remote to replay 513 incident again, and if this race war would ever then disappeared, no more racism, no more fights, no more low IQ creatures, I would definitely let it happen once again. But I would probably got killed by then :P

Race? I have no idea which brilliant one first to create this word before it even existed.

He/She is full of sin.

Do I love Malaysia? Not the people, not the creatures, not the society, not the govt, not the system, etc etc

BUT i do love the land, the blessed land, free of natural disaster, filled with sunshine and beaches, and the resources that would definitely place Malaysia as a world class country.
However, we have the wrong person wrong system WRONG WRONG WRONG, that sarcastically turned Malaysia into a third world country, that might last forever.

It's not a land with freedom of speech.

We have racist law, yes we do.

We have problematic govt, yes we do.

We have patriotic Chinese and Indians, yes again.

We have too much protection for bumiputra, YES, we definitely have it.

How funny it is to be a patriotic Chinese, and speak out the fact, and turned himself into sticky situation.

Yes, it is not a land with freedom of speech.

YOU are not ashamed of yourself, but keep putting Malaysia as a whole nation into jeopardy, and as a joke in the eyes of the world

YOU created a lot of "Siti I*", that use violence as solution but not knowledge

YOU are not even capable or qualified to educate but to create ignorant ones

Would bullying turn you into a happier person, or a billionaire? No! so whats the benefit of it? A way to release your jealousy? A way to hide your inferiority? Or a way to show your patriotism?
And when someone video-ed your stupidity, you try to damage their camera, not that you have no guts, but YOU HAVE NO BALLS and BRAIN!

Even 1 Malaysia concept and cuti-cuti Malaysia been strongly highlighting the the beauty of our multiracial and multicultural harmony nation. It's always ugly inside...

Shame on you, Malaysia

Shame on those who pulled the trigger starting race war

Shame on those ignorant racist ones

Shame on those "qualified educators"

Shame on TAR for the Bumiputra laws

But I have no where to go, but to stay in Malaysia, a place that recognized me, but not appreciating me.

because of my race..

Big girls don't cry

2010-09-03T20:28:00.001-07:00

But I cried, guess I'm not "big" enough.

How short or how long 3 weeks can be?

Time flies like an arrow, especially when you are blessed with happiness.

Tears rolled down like a lil' kid once I stepped into the lift, I have always hated being alone walking back home, and knowing without you to welcome me back home with big hugs and kisses.

It's not an easy thing to convince myself to be as happy as when you are here with me when I clearly know that there will be another 3 months of being apart :(

I love you.

自大与自负

2010-08-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

Was on the debate on the definition of 自大and自负the other day with mien, yi, and SS.

zi da and zi fu are both negative to me.

自负，you might be a talented one, u might share your knowledge with others, but one thing for sure, you think that no matter how hard others try, they will not be as good as you, you will still be the best

自大, = 井底之蛙, you think you are talented, you think you are the best, you think you are freaking pretty (in fact you're a slut), you think you are freaking rich (and keep telling everyone that they shouldnt tell out how freaking rich you are in case you get kidnapped), stepping on the same ground in the end

Can't be bothered that others camwhoring day and night, but please don't ever tell me that your intention is not waiting others to praise you by uploading tonnes of photos, yet act like you don't care if there is someone saying that you are freaking ugly or telling people that this is just a casual day for you (while you have spent freaking 4 hours to dress up and put on 3cm thick of flour on your face)

Can't be bothered that you are filthy rich and having 10 platinum credit cards, and Harrods is your second home, but please don't post up in Facebook or whatever media that give you a chance to show off by asking, "shall I get a Chanel or a Hermes today", or begging friends not to tell out that you have a Porche or Ferrari at home. They are just not so big deal in fact.

I have been reading on this famous Singaporean's blog for almost a year. Why is she successful? You might hate her, dislike her, think that she is ugly or what, but hey, she puts in 200% effort in every post, and 300% of sincerity. She accepts all the merits and critics, which I find a lot of young-quite-famous bloggers in KL are unbeatably narrowed minded and being petty.

Why are you a blogger? you accept money, blogging is your career, and being a famous blogger can't never run away from publicizing your life to some sense. You post up something, and you set a password that only your best best best friends are allowed to access. Or, you beg for comments and opinions for the post, yet not all comments will be published. This is not the way to be a good blogger, only if you think your beauty can last you another 10 years.

2 days left

2010-08-14T09:40:00.001-07:00

I rang him at 12.10am before I could cool myself down after walking out from the smoking hot exotic striptease club :P

But 3 free international call delay every single word of us,

so he said, aiya! nevermind larh, we are going to meet up in 2 days time, you can hug me tightly and tell me about it.

YES! 2 days left, it has been ages for us, in fact, it's only 3 weeks away since our last good-bye

Hokkaido trip

2010-08-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

I went to Hokkaido during 2010 winter break with pa, ma and gugu. It's must to visit Japan in your life time, you will learn and see many things that u have never seen or thought of in your life time. Have to admit that japanese are freaking SMART!!

Narita Airport
smallest car

At Kuan Yin Temple

Kuan Yin signature hand

LOL I have no idea why children in kanji is 小人

Very cute fire station

The toilet in our first hotel, very tiny and small

Our room

Authentic japanese dinner

Our room after they arranged the mattress for us when we were off for dinner

Japanese traditional pyjamas

Shirts provided for hot spring, we all need to be naked in front of everyone ><"

No luck to see one :(

Galaxy waterfall

近视，远视，乱视？？？老视

so what's 乱视？LOL

The cherry farm, we got 40 minutes to eat as much as u can, and they are all freshly pluck from the tree. I ate 100++ of them, the greatest amount among all. You can never have it in the supermarket. trust me!

Ok, i can't reach the high one, have to admit that :(

Pa was busy taking photos and I was busy eating. how i wish i can steal them back

green apple tree

that's the karaoke place like our redbox

McDonalds, favourite of all nations

what a bad day to visit lavender farm as it was drizzling whole day long

there were 1 million ++ drinking machines all over japan. One of the most enjoying thing to do during the trip is to drop coins in and trying different kind of japanese drinks

At 白色恋人castle, It's a chocolate factory

Ok, it will be my wedding cake one day :)

Daddy force me to act like i was really terrified :)

It's made of real bear, cruel people

Pa's fav, the famous ramen street, I had my supper there for 2 nights continuously.

See the cut at the front of the bear?

OMG!!! he wants my lavender ice cream as well!

It's the best fish i have ever had in my life time

Sapporo beer museum

You should try the beer, I'm in love with it.

History of sapporo beer's poster/advertisement

Shopping heaven

the taraba crab aka the king crab, only in hokkaido

You can have that as much as u can for free! but I only manage to eat 8 of them

Police is extincting in Japan, cuz they are too smart in using all the technology and police is no longer needed! plus, rasuah rate is low in japan, so why bother giving saman like malaysi* do?

The volcano

Trying out the temperature of the flowing water

It's warm and just nice to have a shower even the weather was only 13 degree celcius that day

I love you mom

On the way to visit the super cute and smart bears

They eat thru their nose

Bye bye hokkaido, the last day

Sore throat after all

2010-07-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

Terrible enough to lose my voice for a week and coughing my lungs out day and night. And now, Sore throat..

Only after Von reminded me that we have known each other for 2 years, I realized the change of topic to topic between us year by year, time flies aight.

From 2 young girls, first met at South Perth, 2008 winter, Sem 2, were dealing with friends issue, hanging out much, studying hard, trying to adapt uni life, to learn cooking, etc etc..

And now, we are talking about plans for future, our boys, wedding, family, career, etc etc..

That's the change.

How time has transformed us, and yet to be transformed.

..............................................................................

Is there anything I can do to make myself a better one for him, and to express my love to him?

I love you so much

and

..I miss you..

24 hours a day is too much without you

2010-07-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

..I love you more than words can say..

These are 1/100 photos we took on our europe trip 2009

New Year Eve Countdown Crowd

At Madame Tussauds,

Shrek and me, he looks like my honey :P so I'm Princess Fiona

Jonathan Ross and me

Leonardo Dicaprio

Johnny Depp, my all time idol :P

Beckham and Victoria

.. (I can't remember his name, but I do love his movies) and John Travolta

At home, dressing up for the day

One of the Museum in London

The bar provided this booklet for guys in case they need a woman in bed to keep them warm in deep winter

On London Eye

Super sour soft candy

London,

In the bus on Christmas Day

London Bridge is not falling down

A couple Statue and the love bird

The Big Ben

In Eurostar heading to London from Belgium and bought this disgusting pasta pack

Holland, Amsterdam,

On a cruise that made all of us fall asleep and missed out the nice sceneries

At the bar

On the way to the bar, which located 45 mins walk from our hotel and it was snowing :(

After couple glass of beer didn't warm us up in the middle of the night, waiting for cab

On the way to the bar

Home Sweet Home :3

Open air fun fair

Germany, Rhine Falls,

with bare hand trying to make a huge snow ball

Belgium, Diamond Factory,

He promised to buy me a bigger one :)

Be the owner for 10 seconds

Switzerland, Mt Alps,

He stole my very cute head protector and scarft

HEHE< being evil, let him bare with the cold without the protector :)

It's all green during spring, nice ayy

On the way to ... (no idea)

Belgium,

Holland, Amsterdam,

France, Paris,

On the cruise

Eiffel Tower Romance

Triumphal Arch

Love u much honey, he was really tired after 10 hours waiting in the airport just to see me

"peace" written in 30+ languages

Our romance under the Eiffel Tower

eventually, we took 5k ++ photos..

~ Our first anniversary memorable europe trip ~

Mien bought me this as 21st bday present, a necklace with my name on it, I love it much, thanks :) muackss love you too

I tawt I taw a putty tat

2010-07-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

I am finally back to school. AWW!! I miss school days so much till I almost cried out for having not enough money to pay for the bus ticket and can't get to the lecture. I know, it sounds stupid!

I was welcomed back home by bb's big hug.

Then she excitedly passed me this when i got up in the afternoon....

isn't she sweet and lovely?

NO WAY!! when i opened up, it is this evil bill list I have to pay her :( and she promised me, to make me this every month! AWWW! my lovely baby

But she bought me my all time favourite on her trip to brisbane Warner Bros movie world, tweety bird mug and T.

Isnt she lovely much? And I bought her a cow toothbrush hanger. Cow is always her favourite.

I can't wait for this coming summer, to wear this T with my super-fancy-kaimin's-special-limited-edition-super-bright-yellow-CROCS with a white hot pants!! ohh! seriously can't wait for a HUGE YELLOW BIRD ON THE STREET and keep mumbling 'I tawt I taw a putty tat'

After a month of winter break, this is what I have done to my crocs,

This is the original one

AND DAHHHH DAHHHHHH!!!

It rocks my way :P

And now, I am wearing this tweety bird T, having green tea with the tweety bird mug, laying on the bed with tweety bird bedsheet and pillow cases..

I should have brought all my tweety bird collection to perth, make it a kaimin's tweety bird private museum! :)

没有PMR的未来

2010-07-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

政府落实废除PMR

背后真正的原因，闭着眼睛，你我他都非常清楚

以往还是学生的时候，在任何考试之前，总是希望那所谓的奇迹会出现

尤其是UPSR, PMR, SPM，学校大考和统考

长大了以后，这学生们都渴望的所谓的奇迹真的出现了以后，原来一切不是想象中的美好

大人们开始担心，忧心社会，担心未来所谓的国家栋梁，无奈这教育制度，是如此的身不由己

家长们是时候开始在为生活奔波的同时，给多点时间培养正在青春期的孩子们

唉

这教育制度，怎么能不让人才流失，怎么能实现先进国的愿望

Juicy Couture Bumble Bee

2010-06-15T03:24:00.000-07:00

Im gonna get myself this fabulous JC bumble bee wedge sandals!!!!

Can't wait!!!

You might think it's ugly, so what! I love yellow, and it's darn comfi!

So,

2010-06-14T08:31:00.001-07:00

I guess I am way too independent for everyone to care about me

Hmmm...

Still, there is a weak side of me

You'll never know

May resolution

2010-06-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

I was so stress the other night that I turned on the WiiFit to have some yoga practices at 2am.

Yayy! It healed my backache..
Dang! It gave me too much relaxation, and this cheelax state lasted for 3 days and I ended up zero productivity for my final, which is tomorrow for my first paper.

Since I first created my own profile on WiiFit, it says, a need to gain 3KGs to get a normal weight, which means I am 3KGs underweight!

And since i have always wanted to gain weight so badly, and finally!! I have put on 1KG weight (just checked from WiiFit, should be 99.9999% accurate)!

But Iris says, all the 1KG has put on my cheek! =.=

: )

2010-06-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

I drew this for him before his final, and now it's on my wall to cheer me up!

hrm hrm.. I miss Mr. Lee.

He was with me last year here in Perth before my final.

I hate AirAsia. Screw you!

June

2010-06-05T10:51:00.001-07:00

Seems like it was just yesterday I posted my previous post.

The exam timetabe on my wall reminds me it is only 2 days away from my first paper.

STRESS STESS STRESS!

Friends that know me well, have never seen me being so stress out before, and never start preparing before the study break. I used to be so cheer and relax before in all the past 20 years exams.

But why? Instead of having 4 papers this sem, I have only got 3.

I never get a good sleep for 2 months, i never hang out for 2 months, being economical wise, i stay at home all the time and cook my own food :)

So what's the deal in turn, still I am last minute for all the assignments, and got the results as I have expected. but but but.. I dont socialize anymore!!!! great lose!

Hrm hrm, one least thing to be excited on, which my hair is growing longer and longer that I have never had! but but but again... lossing more hair for being too stress out!!!! GOSHH! It's being even out, so I'm still unhappy.. :(

25th of June is me and my big fat lovey boy's 18th Monthsary. Unbelievable right.. :) believe it.. cuz we gonna be together as long as we are alive!

Didn't contact with family for a month, cuz they are still enjoying their 1month US trip GGEEZZZ!!!!!

After all, it's just some bubble in the air.. : ( they will never know how disappointed I was. cuz pa and ma think that Im too greedy.. Or maybe I'm always the happy girl, that can deal with unhapiness all the time without care from anyone. NO I AM NOT!

In compensation, I am going to hokkaido and shanghai expo. but what, not the greedy issue, maybe just envious and jealousy, my brother has been to japan for several times, and definitely, he has travelled to more countries than I do. So I dont see how the claim on 'you shouldnt be that greedy and wanting to travel everywhere all the while at this age' from my mom applied.

My brother travelled to japan at the age of 15, then to korea, HK, europe, US, everywhere.. just everywhere for several times...and I have never been korea, not japan, not US..

Maybe I'm too greedy to compare with someother kids, but hey, I'm not comparing this with a stranger, but to my brother! Can't see how wrong I am to be jealous like a bitch..

In order to balance back my hormones and thoughts, I have spent more on skin care products and good food. Travelling is still important to me, since I dont have the luck to travel to great places like US for one damn month, I have always look for other ways to cheer myself up!

And I say, I'm gonna travel there one day but sadly, it will not be the joy with my family.

*12 days away after 5 damn months

Finally

2010-05-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

It's finally MAY! not happy at all..

Ever since this sem started, I knew I'm gonna be real real busy on May for the 14 assignments.

And it's finally here, I can't just run away. unless i fail them all ><"

This is the toughest week for me, the worst weekend i have ever had.

I AM STRESS OUT!!

But there isn't a single reason for me to give up, there must be one or two other around UWA that take the same units as I do.

Since real long I have never had a good good sleep, either awaken by the "loud speaker" or getting too stress out where lying on the bed for even a second more seems to be the worst thing to do throughout the lifetime.

I know I have been wasting so much time on other things.

..........................................................................................................

I used to think that I'm an extreme example to define selfishness and self centered-ness, but starting to him more day by day, I"M SO WRONG!! and maybe you, whoever who framed me, YOU ARE WRONG AS WELL!!

which Im not unbeatble at this.. proud!

..........................................................................................................

*He might be ugly to you, but definitely not to me*

We went bowling the other day, and once again, my mistake laugh us to death.
"Please write your name on the paper."
Then I picked the pen and wrote my name on it,
"There you go!" I passed it to the staff then,
"So short?!" With his bulging eyes
"yeah.."

I was still thinking, why not?! that's asian name, how long u expect to be..

Then when we walked to the court and saw this on the screen, YAP, KAI, & MIN the three players =.=

Now, I know why history of Chinese language is lasting for more than 50 centuries.. and "lap cheong" is giving their way

"You"> can be single or plural,
*Thats where my mistake from*

BUT! this will never happen in Chinese.
either 你 or 你们， clear enough to avoid all the misunderstandings *like my case ><"*
Oh and i bought myself this YSL lipgloss, I left mine in KL. Kind of regretted, it's so freaking bright red and not gonna fit in casual wear. BUT it wasnt the case when i was trying in the mall. GGEZZZZ!!

NEVER-THE-LESS -- In compensate of the non-casual lipgloss, I bought myself this super casual footwear.. CROCS!

and, i think Im the one and only person wearing super bright yellow CROCS to uni.

我错了

2010-04-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

对不起，我错了。。

才知道，原来感情不是互相伤害来理解对方，

不是用爱来诠释自己的自私。。

等他成熟后，就不属于你了

2010-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

一个朋友说

女人是男人的学校

二十出头的男人都是不成熟的是幼稚的

你用自己最美好的二十几岁时光去改造一个男人

你看那些三十多的男人都是被改造过的

与一个和自己一样大的男人在一起要很费心

从一次次的误会中女人教会他们如何让女人

从一次次的争吵中女人教会他们如何哄女人

从一次次的冷战中女人教会他们如何懂得珍惜女人

她们教会他们的太多太多

包括如何表白如何接吻如何拥抱如何约会如何很自然的和异性在一起

但是这个过程是漫长而艰辛的

经历了太多太多

有过太多太多的磨合和争吵

他们还是不成熟

然而似乎已经一点点的靠近成熟

有时候

男人与女人甚至觉得互相难以沟通

在女人看来是男人错的时候

当然

他们认为自己没有错

于是

她们哭泣争吵歇斯底里

他们却觉得她们不可理喻

成熟的男人是不会让自己的女人那么伤心的

有时候没有绝对的谁对谁错

双方之间需要有一个人站出来主动道歉

就会海阔天空

但是那个人

永远都不能是女人

因为女人永远是弱者

当有一天他们开始争吵

他还是不肯让着她

她痛苦万分

那个不成熟的男人会极尽幼稚的去气她

不去安慰她

让她自己去释然

眼泪哭干了

也等不来一句

但是因为她爱他

想要和他一直过下去

女人选择了忍受和包容

心想只要这个男人爱她就好

不会哄人就算了

虽然很想被她哄

终于有一天

争吵的悲剧又接二连三的上演

她们忍不了了

于是她们内心纠结

结果只有两个

要么他改变

要么她忍

然而这时候的她们的心

累了倦了也快死了

是放还是不放？

放下这个和自己相恋多年的男人？

不舍

但是每次生气的时候就痛不欲生

有些女人放弃了

男人重新获得了自由

他可能暂时把精力放到其他地方

他去工作

去生活

去成长

直到某一天

再次遇到一个女人

可能是和之前某些很像的女人

这次

他们成熟了

懂得去哄人了

懂得去主动道歉

懂得去为她们买礼物

懂得去怎么让她们开心

他们再也不会像以前那样吵的很凶互不相让了

可这些其实都是之前的那个她一步一步的教出来的

她把他教会了

又拱手让给了别人

教他的过程里

是甜蜜夹杂着泪水的

男人是比同龄的女人要不成熟的

几乎所有男人都是这样

等待着一个女人去改造的

这么说来并不是说女人很可怜

如果你足够爱他

有足够的宽容

就去当他的学校

去改造他

那么

等尝到收获的喜悦就是自己的

累了倦了的女人也可以直接找一个成熟懂事的

他们会很懂事的处理好一切

唯一不同的是

他们心中一定会记得当初和他们争吵的那个女人

那个教会了他们认识女人的女人

这时候的他们都会在想

原来

人是这么的矛盾和自私

Before easter break

2010-04-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

It's my 21st birthday before the break! 03/04/2010

Nothing big. Cuz i have never thought of having a big celebration since it's only a normal day to me but definitely not to my mom, which she suffered for hours on this particular date 21 years back, and pa and ma been suffering thru these years to raise me.

It just doesnt make me feel good when I keep spending their money celebrating happily here in Perth while they are working hard like an ox back in KL day and night.

My second cake on my 21st birthday

And I swear, I must have a huge nice specially designed bday cake on my next bday in KL, since i dont know where to order in Perth, and it must be real costly

Ultra woman with spoony eyes

We went to lady gaga's concert on the april fool. It's MARVELOUS! SHE IS THE BEST POP SINGER AND PERFORMER! she's amazingly great in making connections with every single audience. And Im glad I was one of the twenty thousands fans in the Dome that night.

Gaga belongs to the stage!

I see her around northbridge all the while!! she dressed up like this every single time!

Maybe not with the blood on normal days teehee ^^

I guess they are in their 40's! How brave to dress in such kinky way!

When we were queueing up to entry the Dome, we saw this girl, with the aluminium cans on her hair, like some crazy girl ran out from the salon in psychiatric hospital ><"

Okie dokie, it's a retarded version of imitating the Gaga's unique fashion

She looks gorgeous!

And finally me, also a retarded version of Gaga's remarkable MONSTER PAW!

RRAAAWWWWRRR!!!

End of March

2010-03-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

It's only end of March, and I have more than 30 friends turning 21. But only few of them I manage to attend the party.

It's my turn this coming Saturday. How should the party be like? I dont know. All I want is just to have a great meal with few close friends which most of them are scattered around the world :(

* To him: There are so many places in the world to travel to, maybe just not Perth I guess

So yea, my pre-planning will be..

-Going to theme park on friday and pub at night
-Having lunch with friends and dinner with friends as well then club
-what else what else what else?
-no more lurrr...

It's only 21. Nothing much to me. Seriously, it's troublesome.

I just had a effing boring weekend and also a panic one. But thanks god, my tutor replied my mail finally few hours ago, and i can have a good sleep tonight.

I thought i would need to stay at home and study again today, but luckily Tim rang me and ask me out for a picnic. Thanks god! rushing to brush up, take shower, dress up and be ready, I have only got 30 mins to prepare. AND he told me he was on the way to my house to pick me up when i just got up from bed!! But luckily, I'm quite on time this time:)

I guess all my friends have experienced for waiting me. SO YESH! my new year resolution is, NEVER BE LATE NEVER LET OTHERS TO WAIT TOO LONG FOR ME =)

Finally did some shopping after 2 months. Bought quite a lot of shirts since i told iris i dont have much shirts in my wardrobe the other night. so yeah, i got all my deal from kookai.

AND ANOTHER BIG THING! iris found YSL in king street. Guess this shopaholic is super excited in continue exploring king street. so do I. hehe..

Can't wait to shop with her since our last shopping day was before last summer.

Hailstorm 22/3/2010

2010-03-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

From what I've known, it's the first time having such a disaster in these few decades

I didn't go to uni today. but lucky to do so, at least, no brain damage hitting by hail stones from the sky. poor audi, 50+ audi cars were damaged by this afternoon hailstorm. Well, i guess if it's Volvo, it will end up differently.

Schools closed, serious flood in each area even right in Perth city centre where I'm staying, explosion in my uni, homes were destroyed, flights and trains affected, thousands homes without power supplying etc etc....

Seems like the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I think we are not too far away from Armageddon' 's myth.

Feel free to google more on it or check on the link on fb "I survived the Great Storm of Perth 22/3/2010"

*we have this superb nice view from the balcony but not this afternoon*

Came to think of my wedding in future. I dont want something traditional. I hate it! Like how my sister does. But too bad, since we are getting involve into business world, we can never run away from all the tranditions and typical wedding dinner.

But if you know me well, I am even more stubborn than those old people are.

I will definitely not make it as a typical "10-dishes, 10 people 1 table" wedding dinner!!

And if possible, I will not want my photoshooting scenes in Malaysia which choices are so limited. I love outdoor photoshootings. I'm active, I hate those indoor fake postures. I hate camwhoring.

What Im thinking of is getting a crew from Singapore (which most importantly they are similar to our culture in certain point but shines on theirs). And head off to a country for photoshooting. Dinners are the most important one I think. I need something impressing yet simple. Maybe not chinese food......

I know Im thinking too far away from reality. But it's good to always have dreams rather than chasing after time for nothing.

Should I get this present for me and him? I'm unning out of time for making this decision

当爱

2010-03-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

当爱慢慢的淡化

当激情慢慢的减退

我开始慌

我清楚这分感觉

一次又一次的

其实爱情真的很脆弱

没有保障

也许他不知道

也许他假装

也许他逃避

这份爱

促渐的远离

Iris babe's 21st birthday

2010-03-14T03:02:00.000-07:00

the living room

the kitchen

My arm looks real weird here. probably too drunk Oo

was trying hard to stay focus on the lense. too much alcohol :)
not drinking after one damn year..phobic

3.13, babe's birthday.

My best friend a.k.a. housemate

Since last year, we were planning on having a combined pool side party (house warming and her birthday) in our apartment.

In the end, she divided her birthday celebration into 2 nights for some reason.

On friday night, we went to a pub restaurant. Oh well, i had this super weird and overcooked pork sausages. David and Rob been making fun of it whole night! damn them! and then we went for karaoke session.

On saturday night, we had buffet at Rendezvous Hotel at Scarborough beach. The food variety is SUPER LIMITEDDDD!! seriuosly, i can't find any good buffet in Perth!

Another big thing for us this year, finally we've moved in to this new apartment. I think I'm guilty now, of having super luxury life. Thanks to B! We got ps3, Wii with 60++ games, and those super hightech equipments by david.

Unfortunately, Im too busy for all these :( I SWEAR, i will have all done during my winter break.

The living room plus balcony view

My room

Love my room to the MAX after 3 days of moving and filling in :)

almost 2 weeks of zero internet life

2010-03-09T05:41:00.000-08:00

welcome back to perth, again, the seventh time I say to myself.

Been real busy since uni started. loads of reports and essays to be handed in.

Last decision, and never is my choice, I ain't going to US with family. That's a fucked up ending.

In compensation, daddy promised me to travel to some other countries all up to my choice. hehe

But who to travel with me? ish...

Another way of comforting myself, i dont even have any extra time for any movie, neither laying on the bed in the morning on May. 13 assignments to be handed in throughout the whole month. 3 presenations, 4 essays with 5000 words, 1 online quiz, 1 lab exam, and 4 report with 500 words. And last but not least, conducting 2 psychology experiments. (Quite excited actually, as Im always the participant, and finally now im the experimenter)

BUT still..What a hassle.

That's how 3rd year should be right.

Another not so hard choice to be made.

2010-02-09T08:55:00.000-08:00

Brother is graduating this May.

Pa, Ma, and sister are going for 3 weeks to travel around after his convo.

And it's not my winter break yet.

I suppose i will be very busy by that time. Assignments and tests must be pressuring me over the month.

What if I make things simple now, no test on that week, and i finish my assignment before heading to US.

ok, what I should decide on is, does it worth me to pay so much, travel on flight for 3 days and to skip a week tutes just to be in US for 5 days?

I think it worth me to do so. Because I bet i can't find a big bunch of friends to travel with me to US for sure in the future, since it's such a huge land, driving up to 12 hours travelling one place to another is a must for sure, and hell yea, how could i do so if i travel by myself or just with one friend. how will it be affordable for us to pay so much for the car rental and stuff as things only to be shared among 2 person. it just doesn't make good in money sense and definitely it's not gonna be a effecient trip.

so yea, if now I'm going to travel with my family, i dont even need to plan thru the whole trip. my brother will do so. nothing for me to be worried except the uni schedule part.

ishh...

A very late welcome to 2010

2010-02-09T00:40:00.000-08:00

It's February now.

It's getting closer to "angpaus" collecting days, and also, like usual, heading back to Perth soon.

Perth and KL make no diference to me. What do tune up the place is the people around you.

3 months, it seems to be a very long break. but for those LDR lovers, you can never get enough of it, for those shopaholics, Perth is deinitely a zero-shopping hell.

Back and forth for 3 years, I'm so numb of it. It doesn't really matter for me when to leave KL and how long to stay in Perth. It's another home of mine, i suppose, but not a complete one without family.

Here comes year 2010, here comes my 21-st birthday, which I have been looking forward for the past 21 years to become a legally approved adult, but this will be the last year of excitement of my birthday. No why, girls always want to be at the age of 18.

Well, but I'm pretty weird i guess. 30-year-old will be the best stage of my life, I always believe. A mature me, a succesful me, a better me after 30 years of learning.

My 21st year of being born, it's miserable.

I dont know what people out there thinking at this age. For me, it's a very bad one. I'm graduating. What's the next choice then? You might think my dad had prepared a way for me, NO WAY! he always give us a choice, we must make it our own and gain experiences before things are done. This is what making choice harder to be made. But all i know is, he will always be there for us when we need him.

Papa. on the way to Albany last winter (2009).

YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!!

2010-02-01T08:38:00.001-08:00

oh well well, being encouraged by him, and yes, this is my blog, i write whatever i want!

YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!! AND YES, INDEED, YOU ARE!!

can you just stop flirting with guys, those who are older or even younger than you!

ok, i think im being bitchy. cuz your bitchiness is seriously nothing to do with me. and in fact, i just heard all from others.

but please, you are so wrong to think that you are pretty enough to be such a flirty bitch, you are so wrong to think that you are sexy enough to seduce only ugly guys. AND you are so wrong to read my blog!!

BUT, im too wrong as well.

ok, enough of scolding.

not blogging for ages, and all in a sudden, posting such a rude one, i apologize here.

I hate arguments

2009-12-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

Not long after I posted the previous post, there we go on an argument again..

First for these 3 days..

It's 14th now!! unbelievable! I am leaving to europe on the 17th!!

Been really looking forward to it, sometimes.

I hate arguments. Arguments make me sick of u, sick of myself, sick of this relationship.

Arguing for the sake of arguing. Sounds stupid right. Don't laugh please, this is how me and honey gone thru our first year. You might highly doubt so..

You will never know, how tired I am. I scare of losing you, meanwhile, I wish you would have disappeared for few days just to avoid forever ongoing arguments between u and me.

You hate that as well, i know. But what to do.. it's us.

You being you, and so do I. Just get over it like how we used to be all the time, or it gonna be an endless one.

I love you much, and being real proud of having you.

Pray hard, no more arguments.

Shopping Spree

2009-12-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

Why do girls love shopping?

*Hate seeing a forever-like-empty wardrobe every morning or when it's time to dress up
*For the sake of spending money
*To fulfill the shopping desires out of nowhere
*To achieve one's shopping mission
*Or it's always a planned game?

Well well, always there are excuses or some might not, for a shopaholic.

I'm not obviously, compare to most of my dearest darls.

Some might think I'm. But always there are excuses for me to reason out.

Everyone from the world loves shopping in Malaysia, and maybe Singapore too. So do I.

That's why i do quite some shopping back in Msia. But after one damn month, going thru what I have done for shopping, nothing much I have bought but spending hell lot as if like running water.

Thanks god btw, I have a understanding sweetheart, ful-filling my shopping spree almost all the time. And for sure, not just that!

Been watching quite some movies since I came back, cinema tix is nothing if it's compare to OZ. So yea, good and bad, all are in my on going movie list.

Watched Twilight Saga: New Moon. Wasn't my cup of tea, never is. But honey said it wasn't a bad one. Always, we have different tune for movies. Sometimes we do, usually don't.

Muscular guys are always my all time favourite. LOL *sounds like a horny bitch*

Obviously I'm not. Since I have almost a perfect lover, not being freaking smart, but he is the one I am seeking for, Iris babe knows that well (oh well, we both always talk about david and honey.. which i think, at least they are being same at some point on the thoughts on future and career), I am, sometimes requiring something more than inner beauty, which is physically being beautiful as well :P Which isn't too much, since I can see Jacob's shadow on him recently.LOL i wish..

As most of my friends know that I have got my hair cut done, having a spoilt Lady Gaga's fringe, and i thought i would have love it. But hell no!!! At least after the excitement at first go, I hate it now! I look like a kid wherever I go, bloody salesgirls don't give a damn on me, as all of them thought that I'm just some stupid idiot kid, just to have window shopping type. I freaking hate people judging others by just on their look or the way they dressing up, although i do sometimes. Back to reality you! or maybe it's karma.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Didn't do much for my first month summer break.

Been to club for the first week, meeting up friends, did some shopping for sure.

Then the second week, being driver for our honourable friends aka biz partner, a very good experience.

Time comes and goes, Third week then, didn't do much. I think was way more than I have written down. Btw, I went to skybar with family after dinner today. I swear, it's gonna be me and honey's favourite place after his visit to this adorable place. Love it to bits.

Did some shopping today, for the sake of spending money after accompanying others whole damn day.

Guilty now.

I NEED YOU!

2009-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

How to start packing???

Really sick of moving house.

Thanks God! this will be the last damn time.

Moving 7 times in 3 years.

Britney's breaking the ice and I'm breaking the Guiness World Record =.=

HOW HOW HOW!!

Someone help me please..

It's being really pampered and annoying to say this.

BUT I don't care!

I NEED KAKAK!

I NEED MAMA!

I NEED IRIS!

I NEED ZHAN!

I NEED MY HONEY!!

WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE???!!

Things don't cheap out on

2009-11-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

People have been telling me some certain thing definitely don't worth the price i spent on.

Oh well, experiences tell me that, NEVER GET CHEAP THINGS!! you will regret for sure.

The HP multifunction printer I bought few months ago, cost me less than 50 bucks.. good deal hey don't you think so? even the inks are more expensive than the printer itself. Oh well.. you'll never know how regret am I now to get such cheap thing.

List of Things you Don't Cheap out on (especially girls)..

(1) Food for sure.. sometimes homebrand is cheap and nice, but usually not the case!

(2) Toiletpaper & Tissue

(3) Cosmetics

(4) Skin care products + Masks

(5) Shirts. Not saying that you must get something branded, but definitely not something from valley girl, sungei wang, or some cheap things out there with no cutting no quality, and if you walk out the street, always get the chance to see someone putting on the same damn shirt as you do!

(6) Women's lingerie . Obviously not something from pasar malam. When u get old and your boobies get out of shape, don't blame your mom! Also, panties, get those made of cotton or natural fibers ones instead of nylons.

(7) Chair. The chair you sit on the most in your day. You know what I mean if you own a comfi nice one now.

(8) Shoes. You might think I am real stupid to pay 600 for a pair of heels. But i tell u, if u ever put it under your feet, you will definitely find it worth that price. At least, not something from pasar malam or sungei wang again. Especially heels..

(9) Sunglasses. It is an essential thing especially in Perth to avoid eye damage during summer and protect your eyes from harmful rays of the sun. Don't get some cheap ones but you think it's fashionable. Also, never get a branded one, you are probably paying for its label only.

(10) Jewelleries. Not saying that you must get a diamond one or a 99% purity of gold. But at least get something nice and fashionable but won't make you look cheap. Or for some skin sensitive girls, either don't wear any of it, or get a good few one.

Hhhrrmm... what else? ^_o

What things you don't get cheap out on then?

PARIS ♥ BELGIUM ♥ HOLLAND ♥ GERMANY ♥ SWITZERLAND ♥ LONDON

2009-11-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

PARIS ♥ BELGIUM ♥ HOLLAND ♥ GERMANY ♥ SWITZERLAND ♥ ♥LONDON♥

That's where I am going to visit in a month time!

♥ Switzerland ♥

♥ Rhine River - Germany ♥

♥Rhine Falls -Germany ♥

♥ Lucerne - Switzerland ♥

♥ London ♥

♥ Heidelberg - Germany ♥

♥ Brussels - Belgium ♥

♥ Blackforest - Germany ♥

♥ Amsterdam - Holland ♥

♥ Belgium ♥

♥ Paris ♥

I will be visiting to all those places shown in the above and of course, more than that

really excited on it..

Can't get concentrate on my studies ><"

Been googling all the nice photos for these destinations.

All these excitement bring me back to the age of 6, where the first time I travel to Thailand, first time to get on a plane and many many more first time..

All heaven-like sceneries, how not to be excited on

I swear, i will get all quality photos back and not by googling on it!

Bulging eye bag

2009-11-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

How can single eye lid me have eye bag?!!??!!

Thanks to the exam larh~ oh! and my really bad sleeping time routine.

2 more days to my last paper.. i am so freaking relax as if it's my summer holiday now!

ishh! hate exams!!

pa said, it's always easy to study, but the hardest thing is to make use of what u have learned.

that's quite true..

at least, i found what i love now. management and psychology!

.............................................................................................................

craving for ciao italia's food all in a sudden.

love it to bits.. tiramisu there, is the best i have ever had in my life time.

not only tiramisu, pasta, chilli mussle, pizza, and everything u can find from the menu, are all delicious! like u can never have it elsewhere.

BUT STILL!! i miss malaysian food!!

I MISS bak kut teh, I MISS klang seafood, I MISS mamak, I MISS coconut, I MISS air tebu, I MISS... I MISS... I MISS... I MISS... I MISS... I MISS... I MISS...

I MISS HOME COOKING FOOD!!

oh well, one more week to go! here i come, all the fatsssss!

.............................................................................................................

one more thing to be excited on!!

i will be going to europe for one month with honey for our first year anniversary trip!!

WE MADE IT!!

WWEEEEeeeeEEE~~~

at first, jie was joining us to this trip, and then we were thinking this and that. It's a bit annoying right, when there is someone following u when u are having some sweet precious moment with ur beloved one.

AND NOW!! she has decided not to join us!! wise to do so LOL

HAHAHAHAHAHA! how not to be excited right!!

that's our anniversary trip.. IT'S OURSSSS!!!!

if u were next to me now, u would have seen me jumping around my 3 x 3 sqm room screaming and waving hands in the air like I HAVE THE WORLD!

looking forward to it so muchHHHH~

.............................................................................................................

one more thing, the penang trip is on!

27 nov - 29 nov!

HSH, our great organizer, plan it now!! or else ended up noone's going, u must go with me!!

No Spring . No Cloud . Blue Blue Sky

2009-11-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

Been abandoning my blog for ages

What I have done for the previous week was just staying up at biz school day and night, being inproductive obviously. just like usual..

Now i know what second year is meant to be. Things started to get harder, obviously it's different from first year

Everything was just like in kindergarten in the first year, you can do whatever you like, handing in a draft-like-essay and tutor won't fail it, not studying and walk into the exam hall and handing in the paper knowing that you won't fail for sure, having fun for the whole semester and only studying for 2 weeks instead of 13 weeks of lectures and tutorials

P/S: ignore all those statements, might only referring myself: )

and now, coming to the end of second year.

how should it suppose to be?

everything is getting harder, tutors have more requirements, more readings to do, more research, more effort to put in to score, it's just like UPSR-age. It's easy when you look back now, but i bet everyone of us were really anxious and panic about it back in those days.

it's quite hard to believe that 3 years had gone from the first day i left malaysia to perth. time flies like nothing.

5.5 years to spend in perth, 3 years gone, 2.5 left..

i remember once he told me, 5.5 years will pass in a blink of an eye..that's so true.

but still we couldn't get through it in the end. forget about it. look ahead and not turning back

---------------------------------------------------------------

Abnormal Psychology is my first paper tomorrow.

It's sunday, blue blue sky out there, perfect day for outings with friends, since we don't have much warm sunny days.

But life is not always perfect, but a little imperfections makes life perfect, isn't it?

So yea, appreciate the good day that keep myself and everyone of you who are now stressing up for coming up papers company and tuned. At least, it's not a gloomy sunday that turns your mood down

good luck to everyone of us! : )

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections

*random shot from my window*

36°C BURN MY ARSE OFF!!

2009-10-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

everything in this apartment is old enough to chuck them away

especially the damn AC

it never works in the winter neither summer!!

breez air is just too luxurious for now

i'm melting and evaporating

sooner or later if this crazziie weather still stays the same or gets worse

ronny biatch and bb can wear the veiled bow headband from david jones to my funeral

It is cute :P BUT definitely when it's not on ronny

wanted to start a lil' bit of studying for the test this coming tues

but it's just too much for now ><"

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's time to get dress up for ronny sexy biatch's bday party!

HAPPY SEXY 20th Miss Horny > Ronny!!

Ronny's favourite cake ever in her life time :D

My Summer Break Plan

2009-10-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

After whole day of walking and standing

Working from 11 till 2, and shopping from 4 to 9.30.

I can't feel my legs and arse.. only plain numbness

For the very first time, I do think i spent wisely today! only 55 on the skin care products for the whole evening

I get a set of biotherm Aquatrio which is on promotion that included cleanser, toner and moisturizer, which is worth definitely more than 55 bucks!

Hurray! Say "good job!" to kaimin for this great achivement!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will be back on the 13th of November

WHY so early? You must be asking

Have to attend ma's convo on the 14th. What to do.. she is THE master (in my family as well)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin dai lou: Oi! tell u a secret.. We are planning for a road trip to penang end of Nov. Or maybe an air trip by Air Asia since it's freaking cheap tix selling out there.

Me: JOIN ME IN!!! But.. Why is this a secret?

Kevin dai lou: Cuz noone tells u yet. So it's still a secret among us but not u.

Me: =.=

But I'm really looking forward to it.

Since my dad doesn't allow me to visit europe before jie, so I will be damn free from the afternoon I arrive Msia till the day i leave to europe with jie (or maybe not) around 10th of Dec

If the penang secret trip is on in the end of the day, i am booked for end of Nov then!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another good news from Mr. Wei

Mr. Wei: Hey idiot! I will be visitng Msia end of the year with my gf.

Me: Really!!!???? No joke please..

blah blah blah...

Me: Ask Rob to join u two. Or else im gonnna be lonely when touring with u sweet couple, and i hate it! I want my baby to be with me in Msia as well..

Mr. Wei: OK! i will try my best to pull him over. But he loves Msia much. Most probably the plan is on.

Me: HURRAAYYY!!

blah blah blah...

And Im really excited now

Blogging here right after a chat with Mr. Wei

Busy planning for Mr. Wei's visit but god knows, my final is just a step away

My library plan hopefully will still be on next week and the week after

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can barely open my eyes and type now

By only squeezing to get the focus point

Well.. a very early good night to me.

Loved

2009-10-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

I'm in love, and hope to be loved

I love him as much as how he loves me

I treat him as good as how he treats me

But if you treat someone great sincerly, you don't have to show/tell anyone

as long he is happy and he knows

But too bad. Like he never knows how much I'm in love with him

We always argue for nothing, seriously nothing

And he never knows that i treat him good, or maby so do I

He might be the one of the best among guys I have met

But sometimes he just being a bit ridiculous

How hurt am I everytime when he shouted at me

You'll never know

But one thing for sure, he is sad as well

So why do we still make up fights day and night?

I don't know

I have changed so much for him, or maybe not

And still not enough to be best yet, I should say

I just want to be loved

and to love

How can someone's story, bring me close to tears

2009-10-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

当一张机票还不如一件内衣贵的时候，这个世界到底怎么了？

前几天在学校走着，看着一个女生，从头到脚，眼镜，衣服，耳环，手袋，鞋子都是香奈儿的。我突然很想知道这个世界到底怎么了？

突然想起去年看过的一个短片。非常值得一看的。很喜欢结尾的那首歌。。

http://brajeshwar.com/2009/chicken-a-la-carte/

歌词：

Let me tell their story
That no one else can hear
How can someone’s laughter
Bring me close to tears

And you’ll never know
Cause you’re never there
After what we’ve seen
Can we close our eyes again

Let me tell you their story
You won’t think its true
I have not forgotten
So I’m sharing it with you

For all the things we know
What have we really learned
Though I close my eyes
The images remains

And their story begins again

我不知道我自己曾不曾做过善事，我希望以后我有能力的时候，我可以去做。

什么时候当作善事已经变成一门生意？谁不是满口慈悲，谁不是满口同情？当明星为了自己的钱途而去做善事，是不是人的良心都被金钱的魅力磨灭得所剩无几？

当一颗米，可以沉重得付出了千万人的性命，年轻人的奢侈，反而变成理所当然了。。当人类没有衣裳的时代，名牌已经存在着。有钱的人，都穿皮衣。穷人把草当裤穿。不是一切的东西都可以追根究底，好像就是自然定律。

当坑人钱已经变得理所当然，已经重要过把钱花在更有意义的事情上时，一张纸的重量，就是几条人命了。

全球化，把有钱人身上的全部甚至连一滴血都是金做成的，把穷人却一个一个推向悬崖的边缘，全球化，是好是坏？造福的是你是我还是淘汰了他们？

有钱人的钱，都是从穷人身上剥削取得的。所以就算马来西亚政治再怎么的不稳定，政府再多么的腐败，有钱的人还是越来越多，移民的商人也越来越多的时候，基地依然不会离开马来西亚。能赚到的钱，依然是在马来西亚。穷人依旧的穷，更穷，更多更多。

这个年代已经没有神存在。如果把神都化作钱，造福的是全世界。如果说神是万能，相信任何宗教的神的人，都是神的子弟，那为什么挨穷挨饿的人还是数之不尽？

宗教信仰只不过是精神寄托，当发生了自己无法寻求到答案的事情的时候，责任就是往神身上推。宗教是慢性催眠剂。

如果哪一刻我们变成了非洲饥民，是不是相信这一切都是上帝的惩罚会好过一些？

when to put religion and money together, nothing can make sense out there.

前几天又阅读了一篇文章，“八岁女童的遗言” -- 我来过，我很乖。

http://feifei850123.blog.163.com/blog/static/1109370132009240480750/

如果这六个字是用尽她毕生能力去写的，也许她会是下一个人间罕有的天才。又或者说，如果她不是在那种环境成长，也许世界上不会有人写出这六个字的遗言。

当我们花每一分钱的时候，是不是可以理智想一想？不能说应不应该，也不是必不必须。

我给自己的借口是，偶尔的放纵是能理解的。

年度最佳email http://blog.163.com/rumeng6630@126/blog/static/494972202008980313215/

八分的爱

2009-10-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

太爱一个人，你会太在乎他（她）会跟谁在一起，心里是否有你，你的眼球会因为老跟着他（她）而显得迷茫，会牵肠挂肚，患得患失。

太爱一个人，你会在想到要见他（她）时而神经兮兮地翘首以待，当他（她）离去时又怅然若失。

太爱一个人，你会刚说再见却又心生思念。

太爱一个人，你会因为他（她）的温柔而满怀甜蜜，更会因为他（她）的冷漠而郁郁寡欢。

太爱一个人，会被他（她）牵着鼻子走，如被魔杖点中，完完全全不能自我。从此你没有了自己的思想，没有了自己的喜怒哀乐，你以他（她）为中心，跟着他（她）在一起时，他（她）就是整个世界；不跟他（她）在一起时，世界就是他（她）。

太爱一个人，会无原则地忍受他（她）。慢慢地他（她）习惯于这种纵容，无视你为他（她）的付出，甚至会觉得你很烦，太没个性，甚至开始轻视、怠慢，不尊重你......

太爱一个人，你无异于一支蜡烛，奋不顾身地燃烧，只为求得一时的光与热。待蜡烛燃尽，你什么都没有了。而对方只是一个手电筒，他（她）可以不断放入新电池，永远保持活力。

太爱一个人，他（她）会习惯你对他（她）的好，而忘了自己也应该付出，忘了你也一样需要得到同等的回报——他（她）完全被你宠坏了。不要以为你爱对方十分，他（她）也爱你十分，爱是不讲道理的，所以很多时候，爱也是不平等的。

不要爱一个人爱的浑然忘却自我。那样全身心的爱只应出现在小说里，这个社会越来越不欢迎不顾一切的爱。给他（她）呼吸的空间，也给自己留个余地——飞蛾扑火的爱情，正在进行时固然让人觉得壮美，但若他（她）成为过去式时，你如何收拾那一地的狼藉？投入那么多，你能否面对那惨重的损失？

所以爱一个人不要爱到十分，八分已经足够了。剩下的两分用来爱自己。

爱是毒药，说，容易；做到，很难。

如果你做不到，那至少就不要太过分地爱。世上所有的事都不能超过它额定的范围，适可而止就可以了。风雨由天，聚散随缘，距离也是一种美，爱自己多一点，你的生命留给自己作主，不要老是忘不了在你生命中出现过的人，其实他（她）们都是过客，只有善待自己，你才会快乐、美丽！

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

我觉得这篇东西挺有意思的。说的是男女之间的爱，不是博爱的爱。

也许你会不赞同，经历过的总是会明白。。

爱，是包含了对方和自己，学会了爱自己，才能爱别人。

珍惜自己，爱惜自己

september 2009 highlights

2009-10-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

Went to ASIAN cocktail finally for the first time. it wasn't that bad as ppl has been telling me. was a tiring night. maybe 've been too long not wearing heels.. surprisingly, rae thought that i was a bad gf ><" hit the club right after my boy left.. LOL! NO WAY!! this is the one and only time for this sem! and i did tell darling bout it! ONE MORE THING, i don't know why all my friends couldn't recognize me in the club!! grrr... do i really look that different?? sob..

my second pair of heels from ALDO~~

after heavy make up *which i dont think it's heavy! it's just with the eye shadow on*

with only mascara on

yiyi and zhan prefered the second me.. they just simply hate me putting on make up! ya lar yalar.. i didn't put on foundation for this whole year d.. i love my skin now.

oh yah! i went to the kings park wildflower festival as well. it's not about the flowers, but about people you going with! it's fun.. thanks so much for the day! by the way, the flowers around uni is even more attracting ><"

what i have done then was just slacking.. plain slacking.

until last thursday. gone panic because of anthropology essay which was due on friday.didn't sleep that night. then another major essay for psychology and management on monday and tuesday. so practically, from thurday until tuesday, i have only slept for not more than 12 hours!! and i still have my eye bags now! which i never have one ever before this!!

finally got everything done.. and it's 2009 spring feast again!! heading to it soon and will stay in lirbary till late with baybehh tonight.. *time to study study study! it's just a blink away to final*

one more thing, it's not a happy one. I HATE MY HOUSEMATE SO MUCH! she is just a disgusting bitch! imagine what if one day right after u get up and walk to the toilet, and you see some used pad on the sink. and another lovely morning, u see a used swab stick placing on your hair band...GGGGGRRRR!! i just want to kill her so badly!! how could a girl be so disgusting?! although i have been rated as the most disgusting girl in the world by baybeh and the webcam spoiler :P

ishhh.. lets don't talk about her. will just annoyed me

one last thing, i bought this 1970s heater 2 weeks ago while waiting for my modern heater which i ordered it online some while ago. i know summer is just around the corner, but the weather here is just way too unpredictable!

one last thing, my favourite egg tart from longmen! *yummyYYY*

原来

2009-09-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

原来我是不会被驯服的

以前以为只要是遇到一个对我不会一直都很好的男人，可是又可以让我很喜欢他，我会被驯服的。因为我是有少犯贱的

原来不是。

insomnia days and nights

2009-09-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

this is real bad. REAL REAL BADDDDD!!

the tears of tiredness dripping down, trying my best to squeeze my eyes to make sure it stay still on the laptop screen, i know it's hurtful. ok. when always about to break down at 2am, and then hop on my bed with my bathrobe on which really keeps me warm before i get my online ordered heater from AUSpost, get the quilt covering my whole body and just about to get a good sleep, then, I BEGAN TO LOSE MY SONG...

till the six in the morning.. birds singing out there reminding me..4 more hours to sleep... bothering me even more ><"

this happens since thursday, which means, i was forced to sleep for only 12 hours for 3 days!!!!

what lar.. nearly mentally break down after one damn week of flu. and now insomnia..

you know the worst was, when i came to the front of escalator heading to the lower floor, bb was pointing at the escalator and telling me to head down, but i kept walking to the oppose direction of the escalator saying that, "NO!! this escalator is heading up. it's coming up not going down!"

and..

perth city is a dead one. i can even walk with my eyes close without entering the wrong shops, and not banged by the cars when crossing the roads. when things went wrong, i can't even remember where is the entrance for the shopping mall!! and in my mind at that moment, i kept thinking that it was only a huge blank wall which in turn, it's the freaking entrance of the shopping mall with the shine bright white lights on.

what's going on with me?? hrm.. severe brain damaged???

no good no good. real bad real bad...

WORST as i said in the title.. "day" and "night"..even just a short nap in the day time, some unknown thoughts just bothering me so much and sweep me off from the lala land.

what i want now is a musical spinning top with lullaby song.. i miss it for real!

another longan night

2009-08-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

kindda sick of the weather these days, rain sun rain sun rain sun rain sun then rain again... my third winter without umbrella! been coughing these couple of days. arh! darn it ! get away from me!

never been to any club this winter ><" not me right? haiz.. what to do? iris is married now, noone can take over her place. arh! staring at those dresses hanging on my opened-wardrobe, seriously feel like putting it on, and get all my smoky heavy make up on and hit the club! i need a place to distress..

looking forward of the Bond-age night!! sounds fun... even LIZ is going! what a random one.. nevermind! since me and iris have decided to go under the BIG SAVING PLANS, no more new dress to be consumed for that night. sob :( gotta choose one from the wardrobe.. and i decided to put on my lucky reddish dress on! it's gonna be different this time! cuz i'm gonna go with my BF! LOL.. and also my frens for sure.. didn't put on make up for quite some time, arhh.. miss all those foundations, mascara, eye shadows etc etc bein messed up on my small white ikea table.

WEEE~~ i want a trench coat from forever new so badly!! and a mascara from CD! btw, i got my first lip balm today.. happie~

ok.. after craming myself in this 3 x 3Metre square room for one damn week, ended up producing nothing! SERIOUSLY NOTHING!! I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SUPER LAST MINUTE PERSON!

arhh! lack of sleep these days..

one thing to cheerish on! my skin is 90 % recovered! big thing right?!!! LOL

just bought one big pack of longan, another longan night.

I went to HONDA the other day for test-drive. See the number plate!? damn cute right?! LOL.. must b a good father.. I WANT A CRV!

"WAY TO PARADISE" apparently i drew this myself!! i design it myself!! and those butterflies around and the blinkblink things..

seems like my drawings still not bad.. errr.. i seriously 封笔after SPM! LOL! this is the one and only master piece i have got for these 3 years. and it sux!

now i know

2009-08-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

ishhhhHHH!! I don't know how to post a new blog! ><"

i typed my blog address in the bar and then there goes my blog in front of me. was trying to find a link to add a new post. but FAILED to.. what lar! getting a bit annoyed..

anyway I have gone through all stupid acts, and finally get my way here to post a new one.

seriously IN LOVE with Jets 's designed bikini!! JETS lustre halter triangle in pomegranate is one of my favourite

now i know why people can look so freaking sexy and seducing and stunningly beautiful in bikini. It's because the perfect design of the bikini matching with the skin colour and body line of the hot chick. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, THEY HAVE NICE BOOBS!!! THEY HAVE PERFECT CURLS!!!

SOB :(

which is my dream to have one..LOL

steamboat night

2009-08-09T00:46:00.000-07:00

the last steamboat with them was last year mooncake festival. was about a year ago ><"

there was an old man steamboating with us last night but he never want me to tell out his age and yea.. he is my 源源哥哥. nothing much.. just a random night but we had much fun ..

one thing to add on, a lil' ABC boy we met last night -- ADAM! hopefully he is not terrified :P

an enjoyable night overall!

RONNY biatch.. and i am hiding behind her huge arms

after 4 hours shopping and 3 hours steamboat, few bottle of alcoholic drinks, ended 3 "drunkies" lying on the yoga matt posting

then after the Wii tennis session with JAY, time for me to take some shot. i love this muax! i look so damn inncoent LOL

and then a weird one -- more innocent one :p

err.. serene with the rabbit teeth

finally last take -- serene fed up of acting innocent :(

me and the big boobs ronny LOL -- i love touching it muahx

my iris babe and her honey a.k.a 源源哥哥

he is trying to kill BB :P

both lying exhaustedly after a series of "激情"

BUT obviously our steamboat night is way more than these....

some random pix of zai zai

like toy larh..

WEEE...WEEE... LOLLLL!!! now u know why we love him so much! my zai zai muahx!

Retarded housemate

2009-08-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

I have got 2 japanese housemates atm. Which means, i am the odd one in this apartment. Rae, who is 2 years older than me, she is just like my sister, a caring person, a lovely girl, responsible, fun, cute, fashionable, have good taste etc etc. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is that, she DOESN'T act like japanese at all! not at all!! yeah! that's what i love her the most! She's grown in Japan but studying in international school all the while.. no japanese bad habits, no japanese overacting expression! I LOVE HER so much... since i have known her for 2 years, truthfully, i do appreciate this friendship between us. yeah.. it's weird you know. I met this girl in my anthropology class in my first year first sem. I was so lost that time since everything is new to me, and she was sitting right beside me waiting lecture to get started. And eventually, i talked to her!! and surprisingly, we both went to ZION, and yeah, we didn't really talk much, is more to like a "hello friend", but yea, it' s just real weird. And this April, i was desperating looking for my own room, and Suling was telling me that one of her friends was seeking housemate to move into a 3 bedrooms apartment in East Perth. And yea, Su arranged everything for us to meet up but at that particular moment, Rae didn't know that i am going to be her housemate, neither i did. Eventually we just met up for the contract thing and we both were surprized to see each other. Su's shocked expression is still in my mind even it's 5 months away from now. Isn't this world small? or maybe just Perth always being so small..

And who Su is?? another story of us.. hrm.. where to get started from? there was a day we went to JT house for BBQ (i think it's JT's bday party), and Su's sister reckon that i have got a similar name as one of her senior back in high school. And it turned out that Su and her sister were both from Catholic High School. "OH! That's where my eldest sister used to study!" i shouted out randomly again. AND surprisingly, this is not a bad shout! through conversations, we found out that Su actually is my sister's high school classmate!!! another small small world isn't it? or.. my life is just always being so dramatic...

okay.. back to the topic. now, think about japanese. what's the first thing popping up in your mind when u think of japanese girl? kawai? fashionable? friendly? sluty? hrm.. what else?? yamatte?? LOL no way!! (i hate ronny!! always polluting my purified mind lol) I don't know.. when i ask most of my friends around me what they think of japanese girls, pretty much like cute, hot, sexy, beautiful, pretty, perfect, (but might have gone under plastic surgery, god knows) fair skin etc etc adjectives will prompt out especially from guys. But definitely there are some negative ones, like sluty, bitchy, overacting, slave of cosmetics, etc etc. All i have to say is that, these are only some impersonal judgements as a whole. What else would u think of? geisha? noh? advance country? world of technologies? land of eletrical instruments/equipments? etc etc...

I will leave it for you to judge it. I'm actually here just to make a lil' complaint on my another housemate, Mana. I don't really know about her, and seriously i am not interested at all! She is an exchange student from Japan and will be studying in Perth for a year. There is no surprise that we never get the chance to see each other for a damn whole week, not that we both not staying at home, but she has been staying too much in her room !! Ohhhh!!Ohhhh!! NONONONONO!! she has been staying too much in the bathroom i should have said! Da-da, there comes the one and only interest i have on her? as a girl, what would you do in the bathroom? shampooing your hair, cleaning your body, lotioning (only a few does that), brushing up, combing hair, drying hair and what else? shitting, peeing..hrm.. i can't think of any other than these. we don't need to shave like guy does, we don't need to wash the toilet, no mopping, no cleaning job. BUT HOW THE HELL CAN SHE SPEND 1.5 HOUR IN THE BATHROOM EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!???? interesting hey? LOL. thanks to her, everytime i have to wait for 2 hours just to get a pee, just to brush up and sleep.. it's an almost endless wait. and thanks to her, i have one more thing to do everyday.. to imagine what she is doing in the bathroom for so long. isn't that fun??! HELL NO!!! when u need the toilet desperately, and Rae's N/A, i always feel like poisoning her seriously, i think i will do that one day. Imagine, to add in some weird stuff into her facial cleanser or shower cream.. and the next morning u will see her with rashes all over the face and body, i think i will be real happy. LOL. STOP IT!! ENOUGH FOR THE IMAGINATION PART. there is always karma... hehe^^ i think i am imagining more than what i typed out here LOL god knows..

alrighty, i feel much better since yesterday "knock"! she pissed me off so badly again last night. taking hours for a shower, and i need to get up at 7am the next morning. and guess what was the time she took her shower? 1.45am!!! and i waited until 2.30am. I can't wait any longer.. i need to catch a sleep so badly as Tuesday is always the busiest and tiring day for me. I went to knock at the door three times. and she answered me on the third knock. arhhh... ! seriously, i am so interested in that! i wish i could know what' sgoing on everyday in the bathroom.. but i'll never know. forget bout it.

not like i'm trying to interfer her showering schedule or what, but pls... this is a common bathroom/toilet. be more considerable! i don't want to talk to her on this, as she is kind of girl that will think that i am like rushing her or what. Hell no! i can wait if and only if i am not in a hurry.. so yeah.. pray hard and hopefully she has some self consciousness, and take shorter time to shower.

arh..she is just the retarded one.

哭

2009-07-31T01:45:00.000-07:00

曾经有那么两个人对我说过同一句话
只记得自己当时是强忍眼泪，勉强地笑着说没事
然后脑海一片空白，眼泪不断的流不断的流
流了多少的岁月我也不知道了

今天晚上这一种感觉又回来了
他说他不明白为什么我哭
我也不明白
我不是一个容易哭的人，能忍的我都会咬紧下唇忍过去不让自己哭
我真的不知道为什么我哭

我只知道我不快乐

STOP THAT!

2009-07-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'll continue on my winter break stories some other time but definitely not now..

STOP saying me for being brainless while you are never a smart one to me!

Everyone does being ignorant by time.. so do I. but not all the while..

Fuck off my way if you think you can't communicate with me or if you keep saying me brainless!

brief talk on my second year winter break

2009-07-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

okay, i know it has been quite some while for not updating my blog. It's a month away since I finished my last paper till now i got my results. Not a bad one i should say. Okay, it's not a very good one frankly, but at least i passed all the papers and sort of out of my expectations.

okay, done for that. Lets talk about my winter break.

Dad and mom finally visited me in Perth for the first time since this is my third year over here. Have to say that they are not very welcomed by me (i know it's bad ><"), cuz you know, girl like me always seek for 100% freedom never want to be caged once escaped from it.. but I LOVE THEM muchHHH as always do. Uncle Bambang and auntie Tammy been really kind on daddy-mommy's visit. Thanks heaps to them as i don't really have much time for the first few days, busy preparing for my exam (not really busying on that><"). okay, papa really enjoys Perth weather and i think they jogged at kings park everyday. And definitely they visit kings park more than i do overall for 3 damn years. But i think it's a bit too cold for them during winter since they are getting older now. I bet mama loves spring the most. She loves nature. Additional part -- mama turns a bit weird after not seeing her for 5 months. Been learning dowsing after i left on Feb. (if you are interested in what dowsing are, you are always free and welcome to google it, cuz i'm not too sure as well :p ) SHE IS JUST LIKE A WITCH NOW!! haha! that's what we say that all the time... even papa says, she is witch-erer nowwww :P

okay, back to my winter break. after i finished my last paper, uncle bambang, auntie tammy, papa, mama and me headed straight right to margeret river. been travelling all the way from perth to margeret river and to albany on his 1.2 mil collection benz ><" PHEWWW... 6000cc!!!!! 6000cc!!! you might not get the chace in your life time to sit on a 6000cc, costing a bungalow price car travelling on the road!! glad i had it!! hrmm.. too bad. i don't have the photo with me ><" will post it up some other day.

First day in margaret river, it was rainy Wednesday, not a very nice weather to travel. but we get to see the greenish ever field in the world, BLACK cows, wineries and blue blue sky all the way to margeret river. nothing much to do in margeret river, visiting winneries and caves is most we can do there. We visited the Mammoth Cave. Quite a huge cave and a interesting one. We get the chance to take our imaginations to the fullest and see all of nature's fantastic forces at work. And also, i have tried the best lamb shank in my life on that night's meal.

Papa woke me up at 7am the next morning. Had our breakfast at DOME. and then continue on our journey to albany. uhmm.. can't remember what we have done on that day. Photos are all with papa. nothing for me to recall. The third day, Friday, headed to a place called Denmark, where tree top walk is. THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING AND FUN!! something to add on, i knock my head on a tree trunk when i was running towards mama and i fell like what you always see in cartoon. damn it! luckily noone's there.

to be continued....

My First Post

2009-06-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

Always being too blank for the first post.

First of all, make some promises to my blog...
(i) Can't certifiy it dead unless it is so =.=
(ii) Post more photos!! since i'm not a cam-whore maniac, might break this one :P

P./S Having the right to break and make any promises anytime i feel like to :P (being irresponsible all the time)

Okie dokie..

time to back on my studies. International Finance... oh lord!! it's killing me badly. actually it's not! since i made the decision to change my course to commerce and psyc, i have been slacking all the while. no longer get the mood to study and focus of econs shitss! shouldn't be wasting my dad's money.. but hrm... econs really can't work with my brain! never a chemical reaction from that ><"

My internet been super duper slow for whole night.. Downloadingsss again...

Can't wait for the last 2 papers to end!!! and here goes my winter-BREAK!! mommy and daddy will be arriving tomorrow. Uncle Bambang will be fetching me to the airport at 2.30pm! arrrhh! hate it! I ain't an early person and never is.. the flight will be arriving at 3pm><" taking me 20minutes from my place to the airport!! arhhh!! gonna be a nightmare..

oh well.. finally get my samsung omnia!! it's time to chuck the old white loussy nokia into the bin!! haha!! but cant be that bad... it's a good mobile ever i had! well.. if you were him, you will know!! lol! aiks... still figuring out how to use my omnia.. *headache*

since i have made a promise to myself, i will post some new photos later when the internet is not THAT SLOW and definitely, when the exam is over!