PRAY HARDDD!!

Firstly, my melbourne trip is on for sure :)

Secondly, hopefully my bangkok trip with darling will on :S

Thirdly, i really wanted to go to Shanghai! shall I??

But but but but but but....

IF ONLY MY LONDON TRIP IS ON, I WILL POSTPONE MY BANGKOK TRIP AND GIVE UP MY SHANGHAI TRIP.

PRAY HARD :)

Methylparaben

I have never ever come to this word, until just now, browsing FB and I found the videoclip I shared on PARABEN.

So i googled on paraben.

and i found methylparaben. (they are from the same family)

If you are interested in it, just google on it.

And after all the research thingy (which i have never been so passionate on researching a thing)

I ran to my bathroom and check on every single bottle of shampoo, bodywash, face wash, mask, hand wash, hair care products, toothpaste AND i ran back to the room, check on all the bottles on the cosmetic shelf, including lotions, toners, moisturizers, eye cream, acne treatment products, lip balms, eye shadows, blushers, nail polish, ETC ETC..

90% of them, having methylparaben as one of the acidic ingredients.

What so big deal since I have already (any other girls in this world do) put on so freaking hell lot (more than 40) of chemical thing on my skin every single day and night???


Research shown that, there is a link between methylparaben and breast cancer, which this chemical have it in 99% of all the skin products as the preservative to enhance their shelf life.

BREAST CANCER?!! It seriously freaks me out..

it is the worst enemy ever to all female.

You might heard from your grandmas if you are lucky enough, "dont put so much thing on your skin, it is bad"

So you might think that what so big deal, nothing happen to me also, and they actually help to promote a better looking skin. OR you might think that, aiya, they are ancient people, dont know anything on skin care products and cosmetics, just ignore it.

that's what i thought so at least...

Well, they happen to be a reason for each and single thing your grandma tells you.

they know it is bad for you, is just like how they used to tell me, not to drink cold drinks, and wet my hair during period. BUT they can never understand why, and to explain to you scientifically (since we are born in such a scientific world)

NOT THAT THEY ARE DUMB, BUT THEY ARE JUST NOT AS LUCKY AS US.

Having researchers all over the world, telling you what is good and bad for you. proving what our grandmas told us are true by giving scientific explanations

they dont know all these.

all they know is from experiences, from people they know. passing from one generation to another, and to us, by not appreciating the more than 100++ years experienced talks.

SHAME ON MYSELF..

I wont chuck all of them to bin now, since I have spent thousands on them. But will definitely gradually move to organic stuff like what my mom have been using for more than 10 years (PROUD OF HER)

I dont have a perfectly flawless skin, and i never wish to have such a bad skin. I'm born with it. I have spent a lot to reduce bad conditions. came to think of it, I have bad skin, I need a lot of skin care products, but in return, I risk my own life..

Life is never fair...

I have always wish to have a flawless skin, less problematic skin, insensitive skin, and i can stay away from all these chemicals..

bless me..

Stupidest formula ever

This is obviously the wrong way to work the relationship out, yet you still think that it is the best way. Or, there is another reason behind for your impatience?

The stupidest formula ever, you and me, a relationship is definitely not based on scientific calculation.

"If only to have a good treat from you, or having a 小女人, I have to treat you bad"
"If I treat you nicely, you will treat me bad"

So, here am I to tell you, this is really stupid!

I appreciate you, that's why I treat you good. Not that in return, I am begging for your love. Or expecting you giving me a good treat.

If you think this is the best for you, I'm sorry. Look for some other girls that think it will be the best for her as well. I am definitely not the one.

If you think that I'm immature much, go ahead.

At least, this is what my thought is, and I hate you challenging my love towards you in this way.

Seriously, they think that we are good, because I have changed much for you. Indeed, you have changed a lot as well, to a shitty asshole like now.

I have never ever ever told others about how bad you treating me, and I swear, but I can't take it anymore!

All the while, I have been praising you much in front of others, and trying to be happy and proud in this relationship. I thought so, but I was so wrong.

You never trust me, I know that. so what.. I never bother to explain to others. Go ahead with your attitude to me..

Never.

Never ever know that I get to be this childish at the age of 21

Getting more and more uncontrollable of my jealousy sometimes when I think about other girls receiving lovely prezzie (small ones) from bf, for celebrations or maybe just an ordinary day to have surprise on

I have received nothing, not for anniversary, not for my birthday. I'm not that demanding, I should consider myself as. A small lovely one will do and will definitely make my day (or month) perfect.

I always think that I'm the one that think of buying this and that for him.. I know I couldn't weight it this way

I know it is hellishly cold in London, I look for thick pyjamas for him, I bought him thick furry house shoes etc etc, not for any celebrations sake..

Maybe I'm too demanding for you? All I want is just these small little things but not something branded. I never ask for branded things, I can afford them. But if small little thing like those, wouldn't it be better if a bf buys you and not you buying yourself which ended up nothing much to be treasured on?

I am not asking for 10k bags, but just a 10 bucks small little useful thing from anywhere, that u think it suits me, or I need it, from what you know about my life. (or you don't?)

Maybe just a box of chocolate or candy favorite of mine, that I swear I have told you before.

Wouldn't it be warmer if the blanket is bought by someone you love, and loves you?

I see nothing from you in my room. I am pretty pissed. Or just being jealous of other girls..

爱情

爱情不是两个人眼睛对视，而是两个人的眼光看着同一个方向 :)

最好的承诺，不是爱你一万年，而是根本不需要承诺...

。。是信任。。

两个女生的家

两个女生的家，有着特别多不等用的东西

该有的都有了

有的只是两对脚

最多的却是，５５双鞋子 @.@

:(

time flies incredibly fast and it's now October.

I have piled up so much school work :( i dont want to be last minute again

SAVE ME PLEASE!!

i will be quitting my job soon, maybe in a week or two to prepare my exam.

October, well, it's not a happy month for me obviously

been crying continuously for 2 nights

too much plan and too little time

I have so much thoughts to scribble down here, but i have no time at all

to you, please do not ask me not to be regretful, as i will for sure, but if this is the best for you and me, i had rather stab myself now than kill myself softly slowly then

I love you still, I know I do..